New Neurotic Realism

7 06 2008

More than a gig, it’s a place for establishing and defending hierarchies, apparently. Mere music alone will not do justice to such lofty ambitions, so here we have an evening of new neurotic realism, made by the joylessly pretentious for the pretentiously joyless.





percussives mutualisM

12 05 2008

Where do you start? Percussives mutualisM, perhaps? New jack tribal walls? Or the disgustingly pretentious capitalisation? I hope no one went to this gig, and if they did, that they all had a REALLY BAD TIME.





Murky filth

6 05 2008

Murky filth is apparently a genre no longer confined to the stinking cesspools of the Glasto loos. Twisted Techno Dancehall is stupid too. And Sizzling Dancehall Hybrid Scene. ARGH!





Neo-anything

4 05 2008

What’s neo-pop? You can’t just stick neo- in front of something to freshen it up. Not the most stupid of genres to be sure, but both a word of warning and a chance for us to point out that Damn Shames and Isosceles are both TERRIBLE bands. Whoops, did that slip out?





Gutter camp disco hedonism

3 05 2008

Classic example of sticking together four apparently completely unrelated words to produce something that puts the jism into neologism, as it were.





INTELECTROH

2 05 2008

Now this is more like it. Ostensibly a natural progression on so-called intelligent dance music, this slaps a completely extraneous ‘h’ on the end, comes down firmly on the ‘electro’ rather than the ‘intellect’ side by chopping out an ‘l’, and comes up with some utter, utter nonsense that makes the much-maligned IDM look like a stroke of fricking genius.





Death by bass

1 05 2008

Not sure if ‘death by bass’ is quite ludicrous enough as a genre but for the fact that I seriously dislike club nights that threaten me with violence to tempt me into turning up.