Electromash – bastardpop

16 06 2008

A classic example of just mashing together two completely-unrelated words into a hideous car crash of linguistic sub-genre agony. Mind you, what else would you expect from people running a club night called ‘Get funked’? It’s not even trying, is it?





Bossa-licious grooves

16 06 2008

Ok, so this is cheating a bit, ‘cos bossalicious grooves isn’t really a genre in its own right, but there’s something so smugly irritating and lounge-funky about the word ‘bossa-licious’ that it should serve as a warning to all those involved with mid-tempo, chilled-out breakbeat club nights You tossers.





Affluent house

16 06 2008

Affluent house is presumably richer in beats and phonkin’ basslines than regular house. Flagrant nonsense.





Tropical fusion

13 06 2008

Tropical Fusion

Ham-fisted attempt at describing eclecticism by drawing on sweet flavours. Strawberries and oranges aren’t even tropical fruits, as any fule kno. Tropical fusion – irritating nonsense that sets the tone for the rest of their half-arsed descriptions.





Turbo Spazz Rave

7 06 2008

Classic Shoreditch. If you have to ask the date or the venue, you’re not cool enough. Likewise, if you’re not clued in to what plunderphonic wonky electro, 8-bit booty madness or today’s prizewinning turbo spazz rave sounds like, you most likely don’t deserve even to own a pair of ears.





Sack-headed Theatrical Doom

7 06 2008

World music from another world is bad enough, but ‘sack-headed theatrical doom’ is right out of the top drawer. I can’t even begin to think how sack-headed theatrical doom differs from regular theatrical doom. Answers on a flyer…





Skabilly

7 06 2008

It’s hardly going to make the top ten of ridiculousness here on Centaurgy, but ‘skabilly’ is a decent effort at using basic portmanteau skills to create something with a whiff of the ludicrous from well-established basic ingredients.